Newport

Earlier today we made a trip to Newport with my father, his wife & their other grand kids (my nephews). What a blast! Though the whether was extremely rainy & windy at times, everyone had fun & behaved themselves, & both car trips there & back were peaceful, which is just an extra benefit. Here are a few pictures from the Newport Aquarium:

Taylor stopped to enjoy a view of the birds up on a rock.
I heart her.
I stopped briefly to observe some brotherly love as Aiden helped Taylor into his stroller for a rest.
Engrossed in the sea lions.
One of Taylor's many looks.

Yep. Looks about right. She's going to be a force to reckon with as a teenager."Birdie!"
"Fishy!"
He wanted a closer look.
This was the first trip we didn't actually walk along the beach, considering it was raining like a monsoon & the kids were cold. It was still an awesome trip though, & we did stop in at the local glass blowing shop & add another piece to our collection. Perfect.

Spring Fever!

yes, it is indeed true. The arrival of Spring & nicer whether has left us a bit stir crazy. Though not quite as warm as I like, we pulled on our wellies (well, some of us) & re-discovered our back yard:

Something yellow
Something beautiful
Something ugly
Something hidden
Something lost
Something blue

Something neglected

Aiden 18 months

Taylor 3 1/2

What a treasure hunt it was.

The mother I am

When I became a mother in the summer of 2006, I learned two things.One, everyone would assume I knew what I was doing. After all, children were my business and it was my business to know children. I have a certificate that says so. I almost convinced myself that those people were right, but as I found out, a nanny and a mother are not the same thing. A nanny can leave at the end of the day, a mother cannot. A nanny leaves her concerns for the day at the door, a mothers worries are never done. A nanny worries about what one mother thinks, a mother worries about what every mother thinks. I had some idea of what it was like to be a mother, but those were just guidelines.

The second thing I learned is how hard we as mothers are on each other. Praising another mother one second, then judging her choice the next. Convincing ourselves what we are doing is right, then second guessing ourselves all the way. We are never content and rarely are we completely certain. Sometimes I wonder if this will ever change.

Experience has helped me con cure the ups & downs of parenting, while I think my recent move to Dallas has helped me with the latter. In Beaverton, I felt rather like a lone parent, most my friends being at a different stage in their lives. I had to deal with the pressures of motherhood all my own. In Dallas, I am engulfed with parents. My own parents, my husbands parents, grandparents. Mothers my age, many I knew from high school, before motherhood ruled our lives. Mothers at the playground, mothers at church, mothers at MOPS. Forming friendships and connections with so many other mothers has helped me realize I need not be so hard on myself and my decisions I make as a parent.

I've learned that as mothers, we all feel the same basic emotions, and fear the same things. We are all afraid of being judged by the other. In living here, I have learned their are things as a mother I am good at, things I want to be good at and admire in other mothers, and things I can admit I'm not good at and will let go of. I call it my mother list. I recommend every mother have one, just so they remind themselves it's OK to be a goddess in the kitchen, but not enjoy building Lego's with their son. It's OK to be the animated night time storyteller and tucker-inner but just not good at getting the laundry put away in a timely manner. At least it's clean-this week! As mothers, we worry way too much about thetiniest details of our everyday lives (I'm guilty!) that we forget to enjoy the time we have with our children. We forget that other mothers are our biggest supporters, not our enemies.

This year for me (so far) has been about learning what kind of mother I am, and I am glad to have the support of other mothers in my community as I grow,change, learn and adjust. Being a mother is no easy job, but another thing I have learned is I'm never really alone in this adventure called motherhood.





My Mother List

As a mother I enjoy:
~ Planning outings, play dates & parties
~ Cuddles & leisurely feedings
~ Re-living my childhood
~ Being my children's best teacher

As a mother I want to work on:
~ Feeling OK with "mess" & "clutter"
~ Keeping a clean car
~ Getting outside as much as I should with the kids

As a mother I'm OK with:
~ Being flexible @ bedtime
~ Not having enough time for myself
~ Getting behind on my chores

As a mother I am good at:
~ Home cooked, well planned meals
~ Spending quality unstructured time with my kids
~ Planning ahead/ being timely
~ Never taking my children or good fortune for granted
~ I am a multitasking QUEEN

Another article I wrote last year for Father's day

50 reasons why...

We asked 50 moms from the NorthWest to weigh in on what makes their husband so special...These are their anwsers

1. "I don't have to remind him about birthdays, anniversaries, or our childrens school plays. He just knows."

2. "He let's me have a day for myself."

3. " ...Still love how he balances me out, between my insane bouts of emotions & my sometimes uncontrollable urges to buy everything in Target."

4. "How he will tell everyone how much he loves my cooking- I still burn the grilled cheese."

5. "He gets it done, and gets it done right."

6. "He has come to appreciate and respect the sweatpants, the undone hair & the hairy legs. It's all apart of the 'for better or for worse'."

7. "How he shares the morning responsibilities of getting the kids fed,bathed & dressed and knows sometimes to be a good mother, you have to be a rested mother."

8. "Loads a second load of dishes. He is so helpful!"

9. "Does all the jobs around the house I don't want to do, like clean the poop off the toliet, scooping the food out of the sink that doesn't have a disposal...the list goes on."

10. " He does the things I won't around the house, with a smile even!"

11. "He is willing to embarress himself in public to make our daughter stop bawling".

12. "...knows how to break down a stroller, playpen or highchair in ten seconds flat."

13. " He will unapologetically explain to his buddies he can't go golfing today, he promised his wife he'd watch dirty dancing for the ten millionth time."

14. "How he still holds my hand and calls me dear after fifty plus years of marriage."

15. "...makes me feel like the woman I was before children."

16. " How he cried when our son was born..."

17. " He appreciates my off course sense of style."

18. "How he knows how to bring peace to an esculating situation in the kitchen the moment he walks through the door."

19. "He can build an entire city out of legos. Absolutley amazing!"

20. "He knows what the kids need in their diaper bags."

21. "...has mastered the response "yes dear" and "If you think that's whats best"".

22. "...will run to the store after work anytime I ask without a single complaint."

23. " He knows what kind of days require backrubs and what days are best to leave me alone."

24. "...deals with the poop. Oh, all the wonderous poop that is produced throughout the process of raising children."

25. "How hot he looks in James Bond attire."

26. "When he wears the clothes I buy him, even if they aren't quite his style."

27. " How he is interested in my Projects, ideas, and clubs I'm involved in."

28. " How we both think the best way to celebrate anything is with a six pack & scratch it's!"

29. " I appreciate him for the things I am not & cannot be for our children."

30. "He will take the kids outside in the pouring rain because mom is going to lose it in the kitchen!"

31. " He is still the god-fearing loveable husband I married after three kids & ten years have gone by..."

32. " I appreciate him for loving me. period."

33. "How he ALWAYS puts family first."

34. " How he's the one that cooks, cleans & stays home."

35. " The way he understands that the green food can't be touching the red food on the plate..."

36. " He knows the top ten stores I like to shop, and let's me frequent them often."

37. " He can keep me grounded."

38. " How I don't have to even question weather he will be a good father this fall."

39. " He makes date night a priority."

40. " How he truely respects my parents."

41. " He keeps my embarressing moments to himself, like the time I peed on him!"

42. " ...will make an effort to care about my friends sisters troubles with her boyfriend who..."

43. "Puts up with my health foods & herbal healing ways."

44. "He holds my hair back when I puke in the toliet from this excrutiating morning,afternoon, evening & night time sickness."

45. " ...has adjusted to his corner of the bed (shared between us and two little ones!)."

46. " How he is doing all the things he said he would with our son now that he is old enough."

47. " Late night cheesecake runs. Say no more."

48. " He will back up my dicipline decisions, even when he doesn't completely agree."


49. " I appreciate him for all the things that make him a man."


50. " How he still likes to "get it on"..."

An article I wrote last summer

10 easy steps to detox your home

Kids are always bringing weird and strange things in the house and asking "Can we keep it? Please Mooooom?". As much as we all love the creepy crawlies and may even give into the occasional snake or even (shiver) spider, there are some things that are brought into the house that don't have to be accepted: Toxins. Here are 10 easy steps to keep the place you hold your loved ones, a little more lovely (depsite the new house guests!)

1.) Take off your shoes when home.If you have carpet, get a deep cleaning once or twice a year.

2.) Use clothe made of microfiber for dusting and cleaning. This material catches the dust instead of moving it around. Have a specific one for each task- don't mix kitchen with other cleaning rags. Microfiber works for floors, too! So ditch that old dingy mop! We like swiffer products. ( www.swiffer.com)

3.) Go non-toxic by eliminating harsh chemical residues from traditional cleaners. Try easy to make home remedies or Methods Squeaky Green brand. (www.methodhome.com)

4.) Air out bedroom sheets and blankets 15 minutes every morning. Just pull back the bedding and open the windows! This helps keep bacteria from breeding in your bed. Yuck!

5.) Wipe your feet clean every night before bed. This will help keep the dust mites out of your bed. Double yuck!

6.) Avoid pvc shower curtains ( vinyl) that are constantly offgasing unhealthy toxins into your home. Consider other non-toxic choices like linen.

7) Stop buying offgasing pvc toys for your children. Plastic smell = not good :-( There are currently many sustainable quality toys that are affordable popping up everywhere. Maybe even at your favorite local shopping facility. Our favorites include Ikea, ( www.ikea.com) Oompa, (www.oompa.com) and maukilo( www.maukilo.com).

8.) Burn only natural candles such as ones made of soy. New Seasons carries a variety of soy candles in soothing scents & vibrent colors.

9.) Keep toxin eating plants in your home, at least one per room. They can eliminate up to 90% of chemicals in the air. Check with your local nurserys for a list of which plants will be most effective ( not all are pollutant eating).

10.) Change all filters in your home every three months or as reccomended. Air circulators such as fans need attention as well. Dust weekly with microfiber clothes to help keep air allergen free.

For more information on detoxing your home, try this book ( Which is where we got our sources): Squeaky Green By Eric Ryan and Adam Lowry

Oh what a night (burn clothes, burn!)

OK, so yesterday didn't go well for me at all. After a long day at work, all I wanted to do was go to bed. Not a unreasonable request, but no.The dog out of an act of anger (I'd been gone yesterday) had peed on my bed, leaking clear through the sheets onto my feather down mattress. Everything had to be washed, but I was too tired. On top of that, the house was a mess (Part of that being my fault due to Mondays events.),and the kitchen light was burnt out.

So I decide on a hot shower.Two minutes in, the water is cold.This is getting annoying.So whatever-I put on my p.J.s, brush my teeth, and curl up on the futon in the office. At least I can sleep for awhile. An hour later, Thomas calls and tells me he is on my front porch. I guess sleeping will have to wait, but maybe I can still get into bed early.

Not a chance. So Megan, C.J., Thomas and I are sitting in the living room watching a movie, when we smell something-smells like burnt grilled cheese. But here's the catch-- no one has been cooking.Then, Megan noticed smoke drizzling in from the vent.We have neighbors down stairs, so Thomas and C.J. rush to see if they're OK.

Not two minutes later, Thomas calls up to me, "Meg, your clothes are on fire.S**t, r u serious? Megan and I scurry down to the basement to find it flooded with smoke, my clothes lying burnt and covered in white crap from the fire extinguisher.Yes, there were my clothes, being hosed down with water by our downstairs neighbors, who had also smelled "Burnt grilled cheese."

The cherry on the top is having our landlords come over to determine the fire was caused by a cigarette in my laundry basket. That, however, doesn't fly with me, or anyone in the house. Nobody here smokes, and there was no proof to that theory. All we do know is that my clothes had been sitting there dry, two feet from the running dryer in my basket.They had been there for two days before that. It seemed to us to be an electrical problem that they don't want to admit to. What's up with not having smoke alarms. Isn't that illegal!?!?

We separated the good clothes from the bad ones. I watched as some of my favorite articles were slung to the trash. My favorite jeans, my favorite sweater, towels, and a shirt I had gotten from New York last year. I at least know one thing is true.There is now more room in my drawers.This calls for a serious shopping spree. If I had any money, of course. Or I can talk (trick) my boyfriend into it...(He actually wrote that last line, I would never say such a thing. Well, yeah, I might secretly think it.)

As I woke up this morning from a short restless sleep, I realized that I had fallen into a terrible sickness; Throat swollen, body aching, chills, and a terrible piercing headache. I am sure some how, I have done something to deserve all this, but I really can't figure out what it is. It's that karma thing.....hmm.

October 2005

And then came

..the rain.The first rain.

Tapping on my windows,

a soothing sound breezing through the silence in my home.

And as I step outside,

so fresh on the pavement.

I love to smell the rain.

The first rain.

The first time I can say "Taylor.This is rain."

September 2006

What is it about this place

This is an old blog from my last blog site many years ago...thought I'd reminisce.

I was asked a very good question the other day that I have yet to fully anwser "What is it about this place that you love so much?" I don't expect anyone to really understand why I decided to move out here,why I chose to live in this house with these people, in this neighborhood.I just love it. I love waking up in the morning to the old house smell, and the sun beaming down through my window. I love the house in all it's personality and inperfections. I love reading in the evenings, coffee shops at night. Early mornings waiting for the bus, poetry on the max, rush hour traffic. Working on the weekdays,and parties on the weekends. I love the neighborhood with all it's little shops. I love living by an university, with so many resources and possible new friends. I love exploring the city, on my own and with friends. I love feeling distant and slightly unatainable.I love not taking things I love and want to do for granted. I love that this is new and still mysterious. I love that this is mine. That this is mine to experience, something all my own.And I did this. I chose to be here, to put myself out there. I love that there is just another adventure waiting around the corner, and I have no idea what it might be, or how it might have referrence to my life. What can I say-- I just love it. And the best thing is, I'm still continuing to learn what it is about this place I really love. We'll just have to see. ~September 2005